This Weekend = Hyper Fierce Gnar Gnar

Cousin Lisa is taking us on a surfing adventure this weekend. I have only been surfing a couple times in my life. I get cool points for surfing in Hawaii, but instantly lose them because it was on the south shore. I have larger waves in my pond. In any case, we are going to REAL waves this time and I am very excited. I'm not even letting the mid-60s air temps, and low-50's water temps sway my enthusiasm. We're renting wetsuits and boards and I'm gonna make those waves my bitch! Also, I'm a big dork, i looked at a surfing lingo dictionary for interesting words to use in my title and found some real gems that will surely help me fit in with the surf veterans out in Westport......

Some of the ones most likely to apply to this trip:

Hopefully won't use these, but good to know in case someone shouts it so I won't run into the water thinking we are being attacked by business men:
MEN IN GREY SUITS--------------------Sharks.
LAND LORD------------------------------Great White shark.

Words likely to be used by surfer dudes and dudettes observing my unique style:
POO MAN--------------------------------To stand extremely wide-legged, arse sticking out.
OWNED----------------------------------That wave owned you dude! See wipeout
MOOSE---------------------------------- A fat boy/girl that tries to surf.
KNAT BOX-------------------------------Where you slam you nads onto the water.
CAVEFISH-------------------------------Pale surfer.
NARDUDE--------------------------------Hot guy with sculpted abs.
RANDOM STANDER---------------------Inexperienced / weekend surfer.
SHACKED--------------------------------Being barrelled or getting drunk.
SPIN CYCLE-----------------------------Wiping out and getting thrashed underwater until you don't know which way is up.
SQUID-----------------------------------A beginner or newcomer.
TAKE GAS-------------------------------Get obliterated by a wave.

And these just made me laugh out loud.....
CABLE-----------------------------------1. To fart. 2. To hang a poo.
SWAMP DONKEY-----------------------A really ugly woman.
STEALING THE BEACH-----------------How much sand you take home in your buttcrack.

Heh heh.....hang a poo........that's great! I can't wait for this fun surf adventure and hopefully I won't eat too much sand :)

1 comment:

Anonymous Midwest Girl said...

That's awesome! I have always wanted to try surfing. "Swamp donkey" reminds me of a medieval term I recently heard for whore - "Sausage Wallet". Love it!