This Weekend = Hyper Fierce Gnar Gnar

Cousin Lisa is taking us on a surfing adventure this weekend. I have only been surfing a couple times in my life. I get cool points for surfing in Hawaii, but instantly lose them because it was on the south shore. I have larger waves in my pond. In any case, we are going to REAL waves this time and I am very excited. I'm not even letting the mid-60s air temps, and low-50's water temps sway my enthusiasm. We're renting wetsuits and boards and I'm gonna make those waves my bitch! Also, I'm a big dork, i looked at a surfing lingo dictionary for interesting words to use in my title and found some real gems that will surely help me fit in with the surf veterans out in Westport......

Some of the ones most likely to apply to this trip:

Hopefully won't use these, but good to know in case someone shouts it so I won't run into the water thinking we are being attacked by business men:
MEN IN GREY SUITS--------------------Sharks.
LAND LORD------------------------------Great White shark.

Words likely to be used by surfer dudes and dudettes observing my unique style:
POO MAN--------------------------------To stand extremely wide-legged, arse sticking out.
OWNED----------------------------------That wave owned you dude! See wipeout
MOOSE---------------------------------- A fat boy/girl that tries to surf.
KNAT BOX-------------------------------Where you slam you nads onto the water.
CAVEFISH-------------------------------Pale surfer.
NARDUDE--------------------------------Hot guy with sculpted abs.
RANDOM STANDER---------------------Inexperienced / weekend surfer.
SHACKED--------------------------------Being barrelled or getting drunk.
SPIN CYCLE-----------------------------Wiping out and getting thrashed underwater until you don't know which way is up.
SQUID-----------------------------------A beginner or newcomer.
TAKE GAS-------------------------------Get obliterated by a wave.

And these just made me laugh out loud.....
CABLE-----------------------------------1. To fart. 2. To hang a poo.
SWAMP DONKEY-----------------------A really ugly woman.
STEALING THE BEACH-----------------How much sand you take home in your buttcrack.

Heh heh.....hang a poo........that's great! I can't wait for this fun surf adventure and hopefully I won't eat too much sand :)

I Think I'm Turning Japanese....I Really Think So.

A year ago when ABCOW(what I call my blog now, say it with me, AB -- COW) was still in its infancy, a publisher from Japan contacted me and asked me if he could use a couple of my posts in a book he was making. There would be no payment but he said he would send me a copy of the book when it was finished. That day has come, I'm now a published author in the land of the rising sun. Cool, huh. The book was written to help Japanese speakers learn conversational English by reading American blogs and the first chapter features two of my posts, A Pirate's Life for Me and Rocky's Fortress of Solitude. They didn't use any of the pictures from my blog but they did illustrate the Rocky dog post with a funny little cartoon of Rocky(as a sheepdog) proudly sitting among the things he has destroyed.......

Pumpkin love....

I put on some Marvin Gaye this morning, turned the lights down a little bit and armed myself with Q-tips to go out and assist my pumpkin patch in some sweet, sweet pollination. I found a lazy bee inside one of the flowers and noticed an odd behavior. Though he was flying flower to flower, between each one he was landing on a leaf and kicking all the pollen off his legs......strange......in any case, hopefully I will have some fruit appearing soon.....

Garden Updates

I've put a lot of work into the backyard recently, including finishing the pond. No, really, I think it is actually done now. All I have to do is learn a LOT more about caring for the water and getting Ma Nature to balance it out for me. The final redesign for the pond included cement and stone walls bordering the lower pond. I have never worked with cement before but am very happy with the way it turned out.....THE POND PROJECT(by the numbers, for joanne)

900....................................capacity, in gallons, of the pond
12,652...............................amount, in gallons, that the previous seven designs leaked out
8.........................................number of times I 'finished' the project
87.......................................trips to the hardware store
500....................................initial budget, in $
1,500.................................final cost, whoops
6,000.................................cost to have it installed professionally
1.........................................weeks to have it installed professionally
0.........................................amount of fun that would have been
61.......................................weeks to install it myself(see NOV '06)
6.........................................mouthfuls of stagnant mud water while siphon-starting shitty pump.
150....................................cost of brand new pump on bestnest.com
3........................................pairs of pants ruined by expanding foam sealant
1.........................................times I glued my forearm to my bicep with expanding foam sealant
16......................................."toolman" taylor references by onlookers




Also, my pumpkin patch has been blooming for almost two weeks now! I have two kinds of pumpkins, one good for carving and another that is good for baking. Should make for some fun at Rachel's SEVENTH ANNUAL HALLOWEEN PARTY. One question though, as the blossoms fade away, they are falling off.....is that normal for pumpkins or does that mean they were not pollinated? Anybody know?

Monday Night Workout

First off, check out rachel's excellent post about our exciting weekend.

So, I was surfing the net in an extremely productive manner tonight and stumbled across this little gem. If you are webcam enabled and are not pregnant or suffering from any heart conditions, I strongly suggest downloading the demo and playing for a bit. The software utilizes your webcam in some pretty innovative ways, from bouncing soccer balls on your head to cheesy, but fun, special effects. The best part, we played for over a half hour and the games were so physical that we had both worked up a sweat by PLAYING VIDEO GAMES.

Also, though this is late news, we had a huge fire in West Seattle last week only a few blocks from our house. Turns out one of the many condo buildings under construction was set on fire, an arson. The blaze was so large that it set off smoke detectors in homes 10 blocks away. I hear a lot of people complaining about the overdevelopment of West Seattle and the irresponsible practices of those looking to make a quick buck throwing up cookie-cutter townhomes and condos and wonder if this was somebody who took it a step too far.......

Sparks 07!

An outstanding and diverse menu, an impressive group effort for a new record level of whiskey consumption, some intense early morning discussions and an abundance of shooting stars courtesy of the Perseid meteor shower all combined to make my time at Sparks Lake unforgettable. This is my second year camping at this heaven on earth though Rachel's family and friends have been coming to this same spot for almost three decades.

We arrived on Thursday, pitched our tent, tossed back a couple of cold ones and went right into dinner production where I continued my personal sparks tradition of potato prep (missed you Isaac!). Rachel's dad had a cooler full of chickens which he cooked on a rotisserie and Joanne created a wonderfully mysterious gypsy sauce to put on top of the meat. Nobody told Seaton I'm not allowed to play with sharp things and he handed me a big knife to carve the chickens with. I think Rachel actually ended up with more bandaids on than I did this trip, a rare event.















We camped in a sweet little spot overlooking the water. The second day we woke up and made coffee and a nice fire to keep us warm, it had dipped down below freezing in the night and Rocky made sure to get us up before sunrise when it was still icy. The morning is a beautiful time at sparks. This picture is the view from our tent in the morning.....

After a huge breakfast I realized that I woke up wayyyy too early and promptly passed out under a blanket in the nearest hammock I could find. After a little nap it was time for sparks-style swimming. This is very similar to regular swimming except there is less actual movement and more laying in the sun on a big raft and drinking ice cold adult beverages. It's a very strenuous way to spend the afternoon and should only be performed by experienced professionals like us. I manned the kayak and took pride in delivering EIGHT ice cold adult beverages at once to the floatilla without spilling a drop. This exhausted me and I retired to the shore for a well-deserved hammock nap. We spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying more ice cold adult beverages and congregating in the sun while Bruce and Sue prepared a fantastic dinner of veggie and chicken curry, papadum, naan, mango lassi and delicious sauces all followed by a medley of cookies :)




















When we weren't "swimming" or eating, Rachel and I filled our time canoeing across the lake and taking a looooong hike. Rocky highly approved of both activities. He led the way on the hiking trail, it was really nice to be at a place where we could have him off the leash. He is so worn out that he has been sleeping for most of the last twenty-four hours.


The hike was a little longer than I had intended and when we got back to camp we were beat. Luckily there were delicious carnitas for dinner. We stuffed ourselves and then laid in a hammock to give our throbbing legs a break.

The final day had come, Doug prepared his famous Chile Rellenos and we packed up and moved out. We packed the canoe to the brim, well actually, way above the brim, and said our farewells to Sparks Lake until next year. Thanks to everybody for making it such a great experience! I had an awesome time!